Real or not Real
by coadhpgg
Summary: mockingjay spoilers.post mockingjay a series of 15 fluffy one-shots i'll accept critcisim and happily read anyones story is they ask : mostly katniss pov a bit OOC
1. real or not real?

I woke up screaming from nightmares of mutts and white roses. I thrashed around screaming and crying telling my loved ones to run. My eyes open, I expect to see an evil mutt glaring down at me hungrily but, instead I find a pair of soft blue eyes that seemed to sparkle even in the dark.

"Peeta" I breathe

"Shhh, Katniss its okay it was only a dream. Go back to sleep." Something seems to be troubling peeta you could see it in his eyes but I quickly let it go and relaxed in his arms.

I seemed to have dozed off for around half an hour. I woke to see peeta was still there wide awake gripping my arm,

"Well, I can't sleep, so it looks like you're stuck here 'till morning." Peeta laughed and we sat in an awkward silence until he finally spoke

"Katniss" he whispered,

"Hmm?"

"Do you really…" he shook his head dismissing the thought

"What is it peeta?" he shook his head

"Peeta, let's not keep things from each other." I said, trying to sound stern but failing

He breathed looking nervous "well, remember when you were having those nightmares?" I nodded, I remember but I wished I didn't

"Well," he said smiling slightly "you spoke in your sleep," I groaned, he probably caught me saying something embarrassing or disturbing, he might be suggesting I go to a mental hospital or something.

"What did I say?" I asked somewhat reluctantly. He hesitated, and then opened his mouth to speak

"You said I love you peeta."

I froze suddenly remembering everything it hit me full force, I was back in the arena, glistening deep purple berries in my hand, I looked at peeta and the world for the last time before putting the berries in my mouth. When Claudius Templesmith announced us as winners I sighed with relief. My plan worked, I turned to look at peeta, his eyes were wide with fear, "what is it peeta? I asked

"I swallowed them Katniss." He said, I freaked out screaming at him to spit them out, but he collapsed on the floor and I realised it was futile. I gripped his hand as he lay on the floor.

"I love you peeta." I said, he just managed to smile before he went limp in my arms and his cannon boomed.

I hadn't replied, so he took a breath, filling his lungs with air,

"You love me, real or not real."

I looked into his eyes, very deeply, they reminded me of the sky cloudless and bright, and there was a whole world in there. Did I love him? I remembered him and gale talking "Katniss will pick whoever she thinks she can't survive without." Gale had said, I realised who I can't survive without, its peeta I will surely go mad without him to protect me from the nightmares, I need him, I need my dandelion in the spring.

I realised that I hadn't replied, and peeta eyes were dark and disappointed, like the sun had set on the perfect world in his eyes, I take a deep breath and say "real."

Peetas eyes lit up, night was short in the world in his eyes, and the sun has risen again. He pulled me into a hug, nearly breaking my ribs. But I just manage to whisper in his ear,

"Peeta Mellark, I think I always have."


	2. marry me dandelion

I remember when my father was alive and he used to wrap his arms around me protectively promising safety, I felt so warm and happy, carefree, that's how I feel now laying in the meadow, with peetas arms around me. I almost feel happy, but happiness seems like a crime when I think of all the people I have lost and never saw the world we live in now, the one with no games to threaten to take our loved ones away, no one starves and almost every one is happy I close my eyes, rue, prim, cinna, finnick, Madge, mags, wiress I wonder if they are finally happy, finally resting in peace.

Peeta grips my hand, we say nothing, but the silence is comfortable. We stay like that for a while, only talking when its necessary. Watching the suns last orange rays disappearing into the horizon, I randomly remember that this shade of orange is peetas favourite colour.

"I guess we should go now." says Peeta, sounding disappointed, and I follow him back to victors village.

As we leave the meadow, I notice a dandelion, swaying in the breeze, and pick it and sniff it delicately, Peeta watches and weaves it into my hair,

"come on dandelion." he smiles leading me away.

We enter victors village, and pass haymichs house, and we both wrinkle our noses at the stench. Somehow the stink made me remember something

"Peeta!" I turn to him " we haven't told haymich!"

"told haymich what?" he asks, looking a little too innocent, im pretty sure he knows exactly what

"you, know…"

"what?" he asks, a cheeky look in his eyes " that you love me? Are you too afraid to say it out loud, my fair miss everdeen." I look down, and feel the blood rushing to my cheeks

"come on then." he says and takes me by the hand.

We enter haymichs house and find him passed out on the table, Peeta shakes him, and , after slashing around with his knife for a while, he goes normal, or as normal as haymich can be.

Haymich mutters something unintelligible so I take it as my cue to speak

"haymich we have to tell you something." I say, haymich is staring at me his eyes piercing mine, I didn't think he would concentrate on what I was saying, but that was a little too much concentration

"me and Peeta, were… together now."

Haymich stands up, like something poked his behind with a needle.

"About time!" he says with a drunken slur. He stands up to hug Peeta, but trips over nothing and lands by his feet, you can smell the white liquor on his breath.

"how long?" he asks, Peeta hesitates, but comes out with the truth

"four months" haymich mumbles something about being stuck babysitting kids then turns to me

"when's the baby due, sweetheart?"

"im, no…haymich, im…not pregnant."

"relax, katniss he's just teasing, lets go to my house, I baked you some cheese buns." Peeta says softly, im slightly puzzled, Peeta hasn't been to his house in four months, but I go along, I don't mind as long as there are cheese buns.

Peeta opens the door to his house, and I am greeted not with the smell of cheese buns, but of flowers, we walk to the sitting room and I find it covered with a floral blanket of primroses and rue flowers. Im shocked, but I decide to make a joke or something so I don't get too depressed thinking about rue and prim

"so, you didn't bake me cheese buns?" I ask trying to sound disappointed but it doesn't work since Im almost in tears

"oh I did." he says magically pulling a cheese bun from behind its back and feeding it to me.

If I wasn't so distracted looking into peetas eyes, I would have seen the shadow pass behind us, but I only see it when its standing by the kitchen table.

"mother?" I say, I don't know weather to laugh, cry or scream

"why are. You she. Why?" I stutter, I cant decide who im talking to but im looking at my mother, with her blue eyes, much like peetas, but with out the happiness and her fading gray-blonde hair

Peeta smiles " she's here to congratulate you on your recent engagement." Peeta says, very matter-of-factly and before I can question him, he pulls a small blue velvet box from his jacket and gets down on one knee, he opens the box with a beautiful silver ring inside. I realise what he's going to do a split second before he says it,

"katniss everdeen, will you marry me?"

"


	3. mr and mrs mellark

**Hello!**_** This ones going to be in the third person, I don't know why I just thought it suited better **__**J **_

_**Thank you my beautiful/handsome reviewers I would of given up on this is it wasn't for you **_

_**J pinkfreak805 thank you! You're awesome!**_

_**J nb1998 crippled was great!**_

_**Jfireicegirl16 I said this before but love for a demon made me lol! J**_

_**Jduckman12 thank you my first reviewer! you are so awesome!**_

She walks down the aisle, her white dress flowing delicately behind her. Her hair fell in loose waves down her back, in her hands she held a bouquet of primroses and rue flowers. She was walking barefoot towards him, who stood watching her every move. It was all he could do not to run up to her and scoop her up in his arms, how proud his father would be if he could see him now.

They said their vows, all that was left was to say 'I do' and she would become mrs katniss mellark.

"do you take Peeta mellark to be your lawful wedded husband?"

"I do."

For a moment she felt happy, but when she sniffed her bouquet of flowers, tears filled her eyes, they should be here, rue and prim, she thought, how they would have loved her wedding dress, she could imagine them squealing at the cake Peeta made, taking little nibbles off the side. She fought back the tears, who cries on their wedding day?

He could see her fighting back tears, she didn't want to look sad but he could read her like a book, that's why it didn't shock her when he came up behind her and whispered,

"they should be here, rue and prim." she nodded slowly

"isn't it sad how cinna designed my wedding dress bur never saw the wedding"? she remembered the day when she saw the wedding dress along with a note "congratulations, mrs mellark -cinna." it read in careful handwriting, she could imagine those hands designing the dress, drawing every detail. If cinna wasn't so good at designing he could have been a fortune teller, it seemed he knew what she was going to do before she did, like becoming the mocking jay or marrying Peeta.

They sat down looking at the faces of their friends- the ones who weren't dead as they stood up on the stage to speak. She watched a girl with blonde hair get on stage, she only really talked to her after they arrived in thirteen, she had eyes like Peeta and a personality much like his too,

"hello im delly!" she said "I' like to congratulate our happy couple on their special day!" she knew she meant well but when she said happy couple something twisted inside her, what they had gone through was anything but happy, " I remember, when me and Peeta were twelve, I asked him to describe his perfect wife…" she smiled sweetly at him and he hid his face because he knew what was coming, he wondered if she came to the wedding just to share this embarrassing memory, "he said, she would have dark wavy hair and gray eyes, she would be the prettiest girl in district twelve." everyone laughed and she went on "when I asked for her name, he said …" she smiled again "katniss, he tried to make up another name after that, hide the fact that he said katniss, but it didn't matter, everyone im panem knew that he loved katniss. Except katniss herself."

He blushed furiously, but katniss just smiled at him she was thinking of all the people she would have loved to be at the wedding, finnick, her father, Boggs and as much as she hated to admit it, gale. She hated how she hadn't seen him in years, she missed her hunting partner.

People came up to them, congratulating them, Effie hugged them, haymich behind her

"congratulations, sweethearts." he said. Effie just babbled on about her confused capitol friends who thought that they were already married and so much other meaningless things. Peeta thought it was strange that they had overthrown the capitol years ago and Effie had still refused to give up their strange fashions, she was sporting a baby blue wig that bobbed about when she spoke.

They came across Annie, who looked lost holding her son Finn, who, even as a small child was the spitting image of finnick, every time she looked at him, pain filled her eyes and you could tell she was remembering finnick, katniss felt sorry for the child, he would grow up knowing he reminded his mother of his dead father.

Although she wasn't mad anymore, just depressed, she was still a woman of few words, all she did was touch katniss' shoulder and say

"how finnick would have loved this."

After the wedding they toasted bread which Peeta had made over the fire and fed it to each other, because, in district twelve no one really feels married until they do.


	4. Blue Lines

Peeta holds my hair back as I vomit for the third time in one week in the sink. My body heaves, trying to rid itself from the poison, but, there's nothing left to throw up anymore. A foul stench wafts into my nose. I feel light, dizzy and on the whole, horrible but I can form one clear thought,

_Great, now I smell of haymich_

I watch Peeta, holding back a few stray stands of my hair and wonder why he hasn't run off somewhere far away from me, if it was me watching someone vomit, I would be well on my way to the forest by now, you see this is why everyone knows that deep down Peeta is better than me. I search his face for any slight signs of disgust, but all I find is a great concern in his eyes.

After my body as decided there's no poison left in me, I rinse out my mouth and brush my teeth for at least five minutes then look at Peeta, standing about a meter away from me holding a bunch of fancy pills in bottles and pots if hideous purple gel

"Peeta I don't need any of that fancy medicine!"

"yes you do," he replies "This is the thi-"

"third time this week, Peeta, I know!" I interrupt, I wait for him to reply but all he does is breathe in loudly as if he was going to say something, but says nothing. I noticed, in our fifteen years of marriage that he does this a lot, its one of the only things that annoys me about him.

"look, Peeta If I want medicine, ill ask for something natural from my mother I don't want anything brewed in the capitol, I don't care how much they've _changed_" I say bitterly, I told him the truth, a truth that he already knows. I still don't trust the capitol, those capitol citizens, so eager to see blood, so eager to watch _children die, how could they just suddenly give that up and turn against snow when they had been fighting for him for months, just because they say some children die! Im not saying it want terrible, I lost the one person I cared about most in that bombing, and I know some parents lost their children, but as for the others, they've been watching district children die for seventy five years! Is it some how more terrible that they were from the capitol, im sure they wouldn't care at all if they were from the districts! That's what disgusted me about them._

_Peeta sighed and put the medicine down, I tell him I was going to town and stalked of, discreetly taking a sanitary towel with me, Im due soon, I wonder if that's why I've been so moody lately._

_I walk around town, wandering around newly built shops, when I wander past a pharmacy, I vaguely remember haymich telling me he needed headache pills, for his hangovers and step inside. A blonde and slightly chubby woman greets me, telling me her name was Farah._

"_its nice to meet you, im katniss," I mumble, I shouldn't have introduced myself, of course she knows who I am, but I guess its kind of a reflex, I blush feeling silly but the woman just smiles._

"_oh I know" she replies, smiling in a way I can only describe as a Peeta smile._

_I walk over to the painkiller section of the pharmacy and spot the headache pills. That's when I see it, behind the painkiller section, a small blue box, clearly marked 'pregnancy test.'_

_I eye it for a second suspicious, like it was gong to jump up and attack me, the woman, Farah who works there looks at me with a slightly worried expression on her face, well its not everyday you see the mocking jay staring at a pregnancy test like she was going to kill it. I wearily pick it up and bring it, along with the headache medicine. Farah beams when she scans it and says_

"_will we be expecting a baby mocking jay anytime soon"?_

"_oh I don't know, its really just in case." I reply, and give her my best im-going-to-kill-you smiles, chucking some coins on the counter and stalking back to victors village._

_I get home, after dropping off headache pills at haymichs house I put the pregnancy test in the cupboard, planning on leaving it there to gather dust. Its only after a whole week when I realised I had missed my period. I wait until Peeta was gone to the bakery, then get it out of the cupboard, holding the corner like it was the most disgusting thing id ever seen, blowing of the dust that has already settled on the box, I take it out, go to the toilet and try to busy myself in the few minutes I have to wait, obsessively checking the time. But once, I check that time to see that my waiting time is over, and take agonisingly slow steps towards the toilet._

_I stare a the blue line on the pregnancy test._

_It cant be,_

_Positive._

_Im Pregnant._

_That's when Peeta walks in._


	5. Always

I stand in front of the mirror, Peeta is behind me, but he isn't making any move to find out what's wrong

_Ha, clever guy._

In one and I clutch the pregnancy test, and with the other I protectively hold my abdomen, that's where my baby is growing. Peeta watches me I the mirror, his brow is knitted into concern.

Does he know?

Has he guessed?

_His_ child is inside me.

_My_ child is inside me.

_Our_ child is inside me.

The baby im carrying is half of him.

Half of me.

With that, tears form in my eyes, its like a dam broke, I curl up in a ball on the floor and Peeta rushes over to me, and immediately holds me in his arms, sobs rack my body and after what felt like hours he asks,

"flashback"? we both get flashbacks a lot. We would be doing something normal and something harmless would trigger a flash back and we start crying, screaming at things we cant see. For me its flowers, primroses rue flowers and more often than not, roses. For Peeta its normal insects, like wasps or bees or even the few remaining tracker jackers that line the district. I could lie, tell him yes, but he'll

find out sooner or later when my stomach starts blowing up like a balloon, so after a moments hesitation I reply,

"no."

"oh," he says slightly confused, but he doesn't question me further, he just holds me tight and starts rocking me. My fists are clenched , one clutching the pregnancy test, he notices and takes my clenched fists, my heart pounds and he tries to loosen my fist, the one with the test in it.

"c'mon katniss, you'll cut yourself if you hold on any tighter." he says softly, I resist as much as I can, but after a while I give up completely and open my fists, no point in keeping secrets. The pregnancy test falls into his hand and I slump against him, he brings it up to his face and inspects it for a while, when it finally dawns upon him that im pregnant he looks me straight in the eye, his face breaks into a smile, and after a moment of letting his face betray his emotions, his face turns to a mask clearly thinking its not right for him to be happy when im practically having a nervous breakdown on the floor, after a moment of silence, he spoke,

"is the baby…mine…?" he asks, I almost laugh who else's?

"of course it is Peeta, you of all people know that the only male other that you, that I have any form of friendship with is _haymich!" he laughs, I shudder at the very thought_

"_what are you worried about?" he asks _

"_that ill do something wrong, that our baby will spend their life living in the shadow of the star-crossed lovers, that the games will come back and our baby will be the first one thrown in." Peeta gives me a sad smile,_

"_you wont do anything wrong, everything you do is perfect anyway, and if I were our baby I would be thrilled to have such an amazing mother, and the games will never come back." his face darkens "that's a promise."_

"_I told you, sixteen years ago that you, were going to be a great mother." he continues "I wasn't kidding it wasn't part of the show, I just expected it to be with gale."_

"_never." I reply, how could he even think that?_

"_what if I miscarry?" I ask, Peeta strokes my face_

"_I cant say that you definitely wont, but it's a small chance and well get through it together. We wont have to tell people that you're pregnant until after the first trimester, then the chance of miscarriage decreases."_

"_wont they notice? because of my stomach?"_

"_we'll just tell them you've been eating too many cheese buns." he chuckles and leans down to kiss me softly, it has the bittersweet taste of salt from both our tears. He pulls away and plants one more kiss on my stomach, were the baby is and gets up to go to the bakery, I catch his wrist._

"_stay with me." I plead_

"_always."_


	6. Tears

Me and Peeta sit in the living room, im curled up next to him, like I was in the interview with ceaser after we won the games, but now it doesn't seem forced. I was completely, blissfully content with Peetas steady warmth beside me, but baby rose had other ideas, her cries filled our huge, victors village house and with a groan me and Peeta got up from our comfortable position to find her.

I picked up baby rose and held her close to my chest, still she continued to cry. I tried rocking her for a few minutes, but still she continued to cry.

I gave her to Peeta, _still_ she continued to cry. He did the same as I did and rocked her back and forth in a futile attempt to get her to stop crying _still_ she continued to cry. Peeta groaned and rubbed his eyes, where bags were evident from the lack of sleep we were getting in the fortnight we've had our wonderful baby.

"does she need a nappy change?" he mumbled, I checked her nappy while she wailed, completely clean and odour free.

"no, but maybe its uncomfortable," I replied, and without further discussion, Peeta took out a nappy and some baby wipes.

I took two broken nappies, more baby wipes than you can count, almost the whole pot of nappy rash cream and a whole lot of crying, but Peeta and I finally managed to change her nappy.

_Still she cried._

"_well maybe she's hungry?" Peeta said, looking defeated_

"_yeah." I agreed, mirroring his facial expression._

_After ten minutes, I realised that it was pointless, she wouldn't drink, she refused, and all of this is in vain, all she did was wail._

"_you could burp her?" Peeta suggested, there was no point, but I tried anyway, and got the same results, she just continued wailing._

"_maybe, she wants a bath!" Peeta says, I just stare at him._

"_why? We bathed her this morning!"_

"_maybe she feels dirty…" Peeta replies and I giggle, something I never did before I met Peeta. He chuckles too and we carry her to one of our many bathrooms were, we clean her, I hold her while Peeta gently cleans her. But sill she continues to scream. I wait for Peeta to suggest something else, but he's run out of ideas, so I do the only thing I can think of. I pick her up and start to sing the valley song_

_Deep in the meadow,_

_Under the willow,_

_A bed of grass,_

_A soft green pillow. _

_I watch her face as her mouth closes and her eyes, grow sweet and curious, Peeta stands beside me, stroking the wispy strands of dark hair on her head._

_Lay down your head,_

_And close your sleepy eyes._

_And when again they open the sun will rise,_

_Here it's safe, and here it's warm,_

_Here the daisies guard you from every harm._

_Here your dreams are sweet,_

_And tomorrow brings them true,_

_Here is the place, where I love you._

_Rose is already asleep but I finish the song anyway and lay her in her cot, two weeks into life and she's already so much like prim, sweet, kind, loving. That is- when she's not crying, but I still love her unconditionally, crying or not and so does Peeta, at first I wanted to name her primrose but, we decided not to , I didn't want a constant reminder of our losses and she wouldn't want to carry around the burden of my dead sister around with her, so we named her rose, derived from primrose, normally I would have hated to call her rose, roses remind me of president snow, but this time I love it, It comes from primrose, and when I think of rose, I think of a pink rose, not a white one, I think of innocence, love and beauty and all things beautiful bring her to mind, I said the same about rue once that's why rue is her middle name, its different, with her middle name because I wouldn't always be saying it so it wont constantly remind me of rue. And it has a ring to it,_

_Rose Rue Mellark._

_I think of this while, im curled next to Peeta once again, content with all the love Peeta gives me, and my beautiful baby girl, and the two little girls, who are finally at peace in heaven, probably looking down on us, smiling. _

_My peace is short lived though._

_Because that's when my babies cries fill the room._

_Again. _

_Me and Peeta groan in unison. _


End file.
